


Five Songs Joe Dick Would Never Perform

by sageness



Category: Canadian 6 Degrees, Hard Core Logo (1996)
Genre: Canon - Movie, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-15
Updated: 2006-09-15
Packaged: 2017-10-03 05:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sageness/pseuds/sageness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe imagines Iggy Pop throwing empty beer cans at the TV and thinks about dissipation and inevitability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Songs Joe Dick Would Never Perform

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Shoemaster.

**1\. "Sign Your Name" by Terence Trent D'Arby.**

 

First, it's a fucking rumba. How the fuck is Pipe gonna play that? Second, it's so true it pisses him the fuck off. Billy might as well have inked his name right across Joe's heart, but he can't fucking say that, can he? Actually, it pisses him off enough that if Pipe _could_ get the damned rhythm down, he'd totally do it—he'd be screaming half of the song like that fuckwad Henry Rollins, but…fuck. Fucking Billy.

 

**2\. Fucking Christmas Carols.**

 

That goddamned Waitresses song about the cranberries is all over the fucking place every year and totally tanked whatever respect they'd earned in his eyes. Joe still can't get seeing David Bowie and Bing fucking Crosby on MTV together. They both looked tranq'd out of their fucking heads. Joe imagines Iggy Pop throwing empty beer cans at the TV and thinks about dissipation and inevitability.

 

**3\. "Supernova" by Liz Phair.**

 

He wants to. Billy's guitar would twist it into a whole new song and he wants like fuck to sing, "Your lips are sweet and slippery like a cherub's bare wet ass," to Billy out in front of everybody. He wants it like crazy, but he's too much a chickenshit even to bring it up.

 

**4\. Anything by Leonard Cohen.**

 

Billy wants to do a thrash version of "Lover Lover Lover," but Joe knows Billy's only pushing it to piss Joe off so much that he'll say yes out of spite. Billy just wants to watch him look like a dipshit on stage so he can laugh his ass off later. Billy's a shit when he's drunk.

 

**5\. Delta Blues, Motown, or Memphis soul.**

 

Joe continues to be pissed off at the Rolling Stones on Muddy Water's behalf. Now it's not like anyone ever _asked_ Hard Core Logo to cover "Catfish Blues", but if they did, he'd give them a motherfucking earful.


End file.
